<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Violent Thoughts by Crafty-Scrafty (xLindziex)</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101792">Violent Thoughts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLindziex/pseuds/Crafty-Scrafty'>Crafty-Scrafty (xLindziex)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Metaverse (Persona 5), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Blood, Death, Gore, Goro &amp; Makoto sibling relationship, Goro-centric, Graphic descriptions, I was advised to add relationship tags even tho the first chapter is gen, Killing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Sociopathic Behavior, The next chapter WILL have akeshuake moments i promise, dexter au, hashtag just serial killer things, serial killer au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:33:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101792</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLindziex/pseuds/Crafty-Scrafty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the traumatic experience of his mother getting murdered, Goro is taken in by Niijima.</p><p>As Goro grows up, he displays some abnormal behaviors that worry Niijima and he does his best to curb those behaviors with little success.</p><p>Instead, once Goro’s old enough, Niijima encourages him to redirect those behaviors onto the criminals who slip through the cracks of the broken justice system.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro &amp; Dad Niijima, Akechi Goro &amp; Niijima Makoto, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Violent Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For those unfamiliar with Dexter, it’s a show about a serial killer who kills serial killers, among other criminals who slip through the cracks of the justice system. Dexter imparts his own sense of justice on them, learned from his adoptive father, while satisfying his need to kill.</p><p>Dexter was the first piece of media I ever got into that was told from the POV of a "bad"/morally-devoid character and makes you want to root for his well being despite it all…. And, well…. Goro Akechi awakens those similar feelings in me, haha. It was very easy to find similarities between their characters, honestly.</p><p>Addtional CWs for mentioned animal death (specifically a cat), mentions of hunting for sport, as well as mentioned child death (as in, one of the characters -not Goro- has killed children), like a lot of this fic, the latter is pretty graphical in it's description. And with that said!! Here's an additional reminder to please read the tags! I'm not the best writer so the bloody parts probably could be more descriptive/worse than they are, but I do at least have confidence that this fic is deserving of the explicit rating I've marked it with.</p><p>Also!! There's art for this!! I inserted the image in the very end (CW for blood) and you can also see it on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/Crafty_Scrafty/status/1342502543499407361?s=20">here</a></p><p>This note is really long already, but I want to thank everyone who cheered for me whenever I mentioned writing this on Twitter, thank you so much!! Your support really means a lot to me and definitely motivated me to get this first part done!! &lt;3</p><p>I edited it to add relationship tags. Ren doesnt make an appearance in this first part, but he will in the second!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <h4>5 Years Old</h4>
</div>Goro is 5 years old and he’s alone, but he isn’t afraid.<p>He was afraid at first, afraid when his mother told him to go hide and to not come out no matter what. She had said it with such a serious tone that he couldn’t do anything except listen and do exactly as she said.</p><p>Even when he heard the front door slam open against the drywall.</p><p>Even when he heard his mother and two other men yelling.</p><p>Even when he stopped hearing any yelling at all.</p><p>He came out of his hiding spot when he got hungry and when he saw his mother on the floor unmoving in a puddle of blood he stopped being hungry.</p><p>His first reaction was to scream. He screamed loudly and cried hard as he ran over to his mother’s dead body. He wailed and tried shaking her in vain. She was not going to wake up.</p><p>Goro is 5 years old and he’s alone, but he isn’t afraid. </p><p>He isn’t much of anything.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
It’s days before someone checks on them. The person finds Goro curled up in a fetal position next to his mother’s body, which is now cold, bloated, and has started to smell, but Goro hasn’t been able to move since he found her despite that.</p><p>The person, a woman who Goro faintly recognizes as someone his mom knew, screams and runs out of the apartment. Not long after that there are a bunch of people dressed in uniforms and they’re pulling him away and he’s helpless to resist.</p><p>Everything goes by in a blur after that, until one officer is trying to get his attention. He introduces himself as Takashi Niijima. His voice is comforting as he asks Goro about himself, things like his name, age, what his favorite color is, if he has a favorite food.</p><p>Goro can’t answer any of those questions. He hasn’t been able to speak since coming into the station.</p><p>The look in his eyes is dull and empty and Niijima’s heart breaks for the boy.</p><p>By the end of that day, Goro is taken to a children’s center where he spends the next few nights before Niijima decides he can’t let Goro fall victim to the system. He knows it will not be kind to him and it will be hard for him to get out if he’s left there.</p><p>So he decides to take Goro in himself.</p><p>It’s just him and his two daughters, Sae and Makoto, at home, so it will be an adjustment, but he won’t allow himself to let Goro get left behind after all the trauma he’s endured.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
It takes a day before Goro can actually go home with him.</p><p>“Sae, Makoto, I’m home!” Niijima shouts through the apartment.</p><p>Two girls come out of their respective rooms. One looks to be a few years older than Goro, taller and long brown hair and Niijima introduces her as Sae.</p><p>Hiding behind Sae and peeking her head out is a girl closer to Goro’s age, with the same brown hair as her sister’s, cropped short. Niijima introduces her as Makoto.</p><p>Niijima had talked it over with both Sae and Makoto before bringing Goro home, but it was still a big adjustment for everyone.</p><p>Niijima moves everything out of his home office and gives Goro that room to use as a bedroom. It’s bare at first with just a roll out futon, but by the end of the first month it’s a fully furnished bedroom fit for any 5 year old.</p><p>After that first month, Makoto and Goro get along well; they're both smart and quiet kids and become close quickly. They have similar likes and dislikes and spend a lot of time reading together as they grow up. They trade books and excitedly explain them to each other. They help each other out with homework and they stick close to one another at school.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <h4>8-10 Years Old</h4>
</div>When Goro is 8 he gets into a fight at school. He had broken a kid's hand, twisted and snapped some of his fingers back into unnatural positions. When the teacher tells Niijima what happened, Niijima explains to the school that Goro doesn't know any better and he was just defending himself. He's still just a kid, Niijima will take care of punishments when they get home and he won't let it slide.<p>When they do get home, Niijima sighs. He knew that it was possible that raising a boy would result in more troublesome behavior than raising girls, but he never expected something quite like this, especially since Goro had been a quiet, mild mannered kid before this.</p><p>“Why did you break that kid’s hand, Goro?” Niijima asks once they’re home and settled in, sitting at the kitchen table.</p><p>“He wouldn't stop pulling on my hair. He said it looked like girls' hair,” Goro mumbles and Niijima sighs.</p><p>“Goro, you can’t just hurt another person like that. You should have gotten a teacher.”</p><p>“The teacher wouldn’t have done anything!”</p><p>“The teacher could have done <i>something</i>. He would have separated you or put the other kid in time out.”</p><p>“After time out he just would have started pulling my hair again. Now he can’t.” Goro says with an unnerving finality to his voice and, well, that’s the most unsettling thing Niijima has ever heard from a 8 year old’s mouth. The severity of Goro’s tone worries him, but he pushes the thoughts aside to examine later. Right now he has to figure out how to handle the situation.</p><p>The solution ends up being enrolling Goro into an Aikido class. He enrolls Makoto, too, since she shows an interest in learning it as well. The two of them are quite close, so Niijima figures it will be a good activity for the two of them to do together. For Goro, he hopes that it will allow him to vent out frustrations in a controlled environment. </p><p>Goro and Makoto take to the classes like fish to water. They both excel and the classes do seem to help Goro funnel his frustrations.</p><p>At least temporarily.</p><p>The next incident happens when Goro is 10.</p><p>This time it’s not a person, but a cat.</p><p>They’re out at a park and Niijima notices Goro has run off. When he finds him, he’s behind a bush digging a hole with a small plastic shovel that Niijima hopes he didn’t steal from some other kid.</p><p>“There you are Goro, what are yo-” Niijima stops in his tracks when he sees the very dead cat who’s lying motionless nearby. “What happened?”</p><p>“It died.”</p><p>“How did it die, Goro?” Niijima asks. He had really thought the Aikido classes were helping with this sort of thing. These violent urges Goro seemed to have. There had been no incidents at school since the first one.</p><p>It was one thing to write off Goro accidentally going too far when fighting with a classmate, but it was a completely different thing for Goro to kill an innocent animal.</p><p>This was not an accident.</p><p>“I killed it,” Goro says after a few moments pass in silence, “It scratched me and tried to bite me, I just wanted to pet it.”</p><p>Niijima sighs and crouches down to get closer to where Goro is sitting on the ground with the small plastic shovel still clutched tightly in his hand.</p><p>“Son, do you still feel like hurting the other kids at your school?’</p><p>“Yes.” Goro answers immediately.</p><p>“Do you want to hurt them like you hurt this cat?”</p><p>Goro is silent again before he answers with another, quieter “Yes”.</p><p>“Why don’t you?”</p><p>“Because it would make you sad.” Goro says.</p><p>“Do you think killing animals doesn’t also make me sad?”</p><p>Another moment of silence and Niijima sighs. On one hand, he’s glad that Goro refrains from hurting his classmates for his sake, but on the other hand the detached way in which Goro talks about killing the animal worries him.</p><p>“No one cares about it, anyways, it’s just a stray!” Goro practically shouts, now getting defensive.</p><p>“You can’t keep hurting animals and people just because they hurt you.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“It’s not right and it’s not very nice. You want to be a nice person, don’t you Goro?”</p><p>Goro doesn’t answer right away.</p><p>“Goro?”</p><p>“I don’t care about being a nice person! No one likes me anyways, why should I care about them!?” Goro shouts, visibly frustrated and upset. Niijima crouches down to get</p><p>“What do you mean no one likes you?”</p><p>“The kids at school and some of the teachers. They say Makoto isn’t my sister and that you’re not my dad and that you only took me in because you felt sorry for me.”</p><p>“None of that is true, you know that, right Goro? We love you so much, Makoto and I. Sae does, too. You’re part of this family as much as any of us are.” Niijima says, “So, just…. Please try to be more respectful about life. Everyone and everything that’s alive deserves to keep on living.”</p><p>“What about criminals?”</p><p>“What?” Goro’s question takes Niijima by surprise.</p><p>“Do bad guys deserve to live?”</p><p>Niijima takes a few moments to gather his thoughts before responding.</p><p>“Yes, Goro, even bad guys and criminals deserve to live, but it’s up to the law to see fit that they get what they deserve. Not any individual person.”</p><p>“What if the law doesn’t do anything? What if they get away with it?”</p><p>“Well, that happens sometimes. We can only do our best and believe that those who do get away with their crimes will get what they deserve eventually.” Niijima says, “Now, let’s go find the girls and then we’ll go home.”<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <h4>13 Years Old</h4>
</div>At 13 Niijima starts taking Goro to the gun range near the station.<p>He teaches Goro how to properly hold a gun and fire it, as well as how to maintain it and make sure it’s functioning properly.</p><p>He hopes that the feeling of firing a gun at a target will help alleviate some of the frustrations Goro has to keep in.</p><p>“I know you’re trying your best to behave and channel your impulses without hurting anyone, so as a reward for that how would you feel about going on a hunting trip?” </p><p>It’s not the kind of behavior that Niijima ever thought he’d be rewarding nor the type of reward he ever thought he’d be giving, but there are a lot of things that he’d never thought he’d have to do nor say when it came to Goro.</p><p>And Goro’s face lights up at the suggestion.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t mean it.”</p><p>“I know. I just thought it was something you didn’t like.”</p><p>“It’s not,” Niijima confirms, “but I know that shooting paper targets isn’t cutting it for you anymore.”</p><p>“I don’t want to see you end up behind bars, Goro. You’re my son and if taking you out on the occasional hunting trip keeps you in control of any urges you may have, then I’m only doing my best as a father to keep you from doing something you can’t turn back from.”</p><p>Niijima had realized some time ago that Goro’s behavior was different from other kids his age and other people in general. He’s hurt other kids and innocent animals and there’s the unspoken, indisputable fact that Goro would go much further if given the opportunity.</p><p>Niijima’s no psychologist so he can’t begin to try to figure out why, but as an officer of the law it makes him sick to think about.</p><p>As Goro’s father, though, it breaks his heart. It makes him want to do everything he can to keep Goro from ending up behind bars or dead.</p><p>He wants nothing but the best for Goro, so he tries his best to keep Goro from becoming one of the very criminals Niijima chases down.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
One night Goro and Makoto are studying together. Niijima is working late at the station and Sae is studying at the University she attends as a first year. </p><p>The two of them are studying math when Makoto suddenly speaks up.</p><p>“Goro, why does dad only take you on hunting trips?”</p><p>“You want to hunt?” Goro looks up from his work to gaze at her questioningly.</p><p>“Well, no, I don’t have an interest in hunting, but...” Makoto trails off and when she speaks again it’s quieter and more…. Insecure, “I do wish he’d do something to spend time with me, too.”</p><p>It’s quiet between them for a few moments before Makoto speaks again.</p><p>“I know it’s silly, forget I said anything,” Makoto covers up with a half hearted laugh, “Let’s get back to work,” she smiles and looks back down at her books.</p><p>And Goro doesn’t really know what to say, so he says nothing.</p><p>It’s not like he can tell her the only reason their father goes out of his way to spend time with him is to make sure he doesn’t kill anyone.</p><p>He keeps her words in mind, though.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
On a hot sunny day the family of four find themselves at the beach. After Makoto had told him about wanting to spend more time with their dad, he had made the suggestion they do something together as a family.</p><p>He was not expecting that something to be the beach.</p><p>“This is lame, I hate the beach” Goro says, “the heat is unbearable and the sand gets everywhere.”</p><p>“Wasn’t the beach your idea, Goro?” Sae brings a finger to her mouth in mock thought before smirking at him knowingly.</p><p>Goro scowls and Niijima laughs, “It was a good idea, we could all use a break. Come on kids, let’s find a good spot.”</p><p>They find a clear spot on the beach and Niijima sets up a beach chair while the rest of them open up a blanket. They brought along a small cooler with drinks and sandwiches for later.</p><p>As much as Goro dislikes the beach, he does his best to do more than sit on the blanket under the shade of their umbrella.</p><p>By the end of the day he’s helped Makoto build a sandcastle, which he then destroyed much to her displeasure, which led to her chasing Goro down the beach and out into the water. They tackled one another and splashed at each other before getting worn out and heading back to shore.</p><p>The tide had taken them down quite a ways from where their father and Sae were set up. As they made their way back they picked up pretty shells and rocks, with the odd piece of sea glass.</p><p>“Thanks, by the way,” Makoto says out of the blue.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“You suggested to dad that we all spend this day together, right?”</p><p>“I only mentioned it had been a while since we’ve all hung out together,” Goro says, lifting a hand to rub at his neck in an effort to appear bashful and nonchalant, which earns him a light elbow to the ribs.</p><p>“Well, thank you anyways,” Makoto giggles.</p><p>The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. They pack up when the sun starts to set and Goro almost finds himself wishing they could spend days like this together more often.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <h4>15 Years Old</h4>
</div>At 15, the trips to the gun range and the occasional hunting trips aren’t as effective as they once were. Just like all of the other outlets Niijima has tried to provide for Goro, their usefulness runs dry.<p>Niijima can see how frustrated it makes Goro. Even though he knows that frustration is only born out of Goro’s desire to make Niijima happy rather than any desire to be a good person.</p><p>One night the four of them are sitting down for dinner as a family. Niijima doesn’t typically make it home for dinner, staying late at the office, and sometimes Sae’s own studies run late into the evenings as well, which leaves just Goro and Makoto to eat dinner alone, but it’s one of those rare nights where everyone can eat together.</p><p>“So Goro. There’s this case I’m working on, what do you say about helping me out with something pertaining to it?” Niijima says.</p><p>“Uh, okay...” Goro trails off, not sure how much help he’ll be.</p><p>“I can help, too, Dad.” Makoto says, indignant.</p><p>“That’s okay, Makoto, just focus on your studies, honey,” Niijima says dismissively.</p><p>It makes Goro feel a little uncomfortable; he knows that Makoto misses spending time with their dad, even more so than Goro maybe, since Goro still gets to spend time with him on their trips to the range and what not, but he feels like this is just his dad’s way of letting him know they need to talk privately about <i>Goro</i> and for obvious reasons Makoto can’t be around for that.</p><p>After dinner, Goro and his dad end up taking a walk towards the nearby docks where Niijima keeps his boat. The silence during their walk confirms Goro’s earlier suspicions about the topic of their talk tonight.</p><p>When they get to the boat, they get in and Niijima unties it and pushes them off. It’s a small little thing, the waterways in the area aren’t big enough for anything larger, and Niijima leads them out a bit before he finally speaks.</p><p>“Goro, there’s something I wanted to talk with you about.”</p><p>“About that case you mentioned?”</p><p>“For starters, yes,” Niijima says, “It’s a case I’ve been looking into on my own time. I found solid evidence of the crimes I suspected this man of doing, but due to being hasty and not waiting for warrants, the evidence would be thrown out if I were to formally accuse him and bring this to trial.”</p><p>“What did he do?” Goro asks and Niijima gives a brief explanation of the man’s crimes as well as the evidence he found against him.</p><p>“That’s awful,” Goro says, and he finds that he really means it.</p><p>“Honestly, I’m a bit relieved to see that this disturbs you as much as it does, Goro,” Niijima says, “I worry about you a lot, you know.”</p><p>Goro’s silent for a few moments before speaking.</p><p>“So what do you want me to do?”</p><p>There’s more silence before Niijima speaks.</p><p>“Do you remember when you were younger, Goro? We were at the park after you… well,” Niijima clears his throat, “anyways, you asked me if criminals deserved to live and I told you they did.”</p><p>“I remember,” Goro says and he feels <i>excited</i> at the prospect of where this conversation might be heading, but he keeps his composure until he knows for certain.</p><p>“I want you to kill him, Goro,” Niijima says, finally, “Let me be clear that I absolutely do not approve of or condone murder, but this man… he won’t stop until he’s caught and without the proper warrants there’s nothing I can do.”</p><p>“If this goes well,” Niijima continues, “I think the best outlet for you going forward will be to kill these kinds of criminals. The ones who get away and slip under the radar of the justice system. Your urges are only growing stronger, aren’t they?” Niijima looks at Goro, who nods in confirmation.</p><p>Niijima sighs in disappointment, but it’s not like he didn’t expect that answer.</p><p>So Niijima comes up with a strict code he wants Goro to follow in preparation for the inevitable.</p><p>The first rule is <b>Don’t Get Caught</b></p><p>It’s an obvious one. If Goro gets caught then he dies. This rule saves not only his own skin, but also keeps him from disappointing the only people he cares about.</p><p>The second rule is <b>Never Kill an Innocent</b></p><p>Another important one, Niijima makes it clear that Goro’s urges are Wrong, but if he can’t stop then he has to be sure the person he’s killing has done something to deserve it, which brings about rule number three:</p><p>
  <b>Targets Must be Killers Who Have Evaded the Justice System</b>
</p><p>As a cop, Niijima sees first hand the kind of rotten scum who slip through the cracks of the justice system. The extinction of Goro’s urges had never been possible, so Niijima convinces himself and Goro that if Goro can kill people who truly deserve it then that’s the best path to take.</p><p>As a tie in to rule three, rule four is <b>Killing Must Serve a Purpose</b>, because otherwise it’s just plain murder, which makes Goro no better than any other criminal.</p><p>Rules five and six are <b>Blend in Socially and Maintain Appearances</b> and <b>Fake Emotions and Normalcy</b>. These two rules pertain more to Goro’s inability to feel emotions in the same way the rest of society does. It involves studying others’ responses to situations and mimicking them to appear normal. These are things that Goro has already been doing before, but it’s become increasingly important with the risk associated with killing. Goro must draw as little suspicion to himself as possible.</p><p> </p><p>Rule seven is <b>Controlling and Channeling Urges</b>. Goro must always make sure he has an outlet to channel his urges into when he’s unable to kill, such as working out, practicing his Aikido, or shooting targets at the gun range. While none of those will be as cathartic as the act of killing itself, they will still serve as a temporary release between killings.</p><p>Rule eight <b>Be Prepared for Anything and Leave No Evidence</b>, which is self-explanatory and loops back to rule one of Don’t Get Caught.</p><p>Rule nine is <b>Always Stay Calm and Collected</b>, never make a scene. If Goro makes a scene and is anything other than calm and collected then he will attract attention and Goro’s goal must always be to blend in.</p><p>
  <b>Finally, the last rule is Don’t Make Things Personal</b>
</p><p>When things get personal, judgement gets clouded. It’s the reason that officers on the force are prevented from working on cases where they have close ties and connections to either the victims or the suspects. It prevents clear thinking and makes it easy to overlook important details, which can lead to mistakes.</p><p>Along with these rules, Niijima helps Goro prepare for his first human kill. They come up with a solid method to leave behind no evidence. They stake out the guy together and learn his schedule.</p><p>Goro uses money he had saved up from birthdays and holidays over the years and uses it to buy a nice set of knives that he quickly becomes skilled with, along with other various tools.</p><p>Goro can feel the excitement bubbling up underneath his skin from anticipation as they prepare.</p><p>Niijima goes over their code again before Goro sets out.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
Goro has his victim strapped down to the table in front of him. He’s a disgusting man who lured and kidnapped children, mostly in public spaces like grocery and department stores where there would be a lot of crowd coverage. The man likely used the promise of candy or toys to get the kids to follow him.</p><p>Once the man had the kids with him, the exact details of what he did after are unknown, but the end result is the bodies of the kids being found decapitated in <i>very</i> public places. The man had kept the heads of the children for himself and turned them into taxidermy mounts. </p><p>The whole thing makes Goro sick to his stomach, which really says something about the man who’s currently unconscious and strapped to the table in front of him.</p><p>When the man does come to, he looks around in a groggy daze before his focus settles on Goro.</p><p>“Hey... ya look kind of familiar, kid,” He starts and then tries to get up, only to find his movement restricted. He thrashes around trying to get free until he realizes what a fruitless effort it is.</p><p>“What’s goin’ on? Who are ya and where am I?” The man demands and Goro comes forward until he’s standing right next to the table the man is rested upon.</p><p>“Ohh, wait, I know ya! Yer the kid Niijima took in!” He shouts with a realization, seemingly forgetting the situation he’s in, “That was years ago, huh, ya were just a lil tyke back then. I used ta work with ya dad, ya know, back when I was a cop m’self.”</p><p>Goro’s lip curls at the admission.</p><p>“You? A cop? Didn’t know they let <i>serial killers</i> on the force,” Goro sneers.</p><p>“Well I ain’t a cop no more, am I?” the man grins.</p><p>“I suppose not,” Goro acquiesces.</p><p>“Man, I still remember when we found ya. I was there ya know, part a the team that was first on the scene. Ya ma’s blood was e’rywhere and there ya were just lyin’ in it on the ground next ta her,” The man’s pupils are blown up, eyes half lidded as he <i>reminisces</i> about the moment that changed Goro’s entire life.</p><p>Goro feels a mixture of emotions. On one hand the way the man seems to relish in the memory of his mother angers him. Or at least it’s the closest Goro’s ever felt to anger. On the other hand, Goro can’t help but recognize the way the man is feeling and relate it to himself.</p><p>It’s a sick, twisted sort of empathy and likely the closest Goro will ever get to empathizing with anyone.</p><p>“‘Sides,” The man continues, “From the looks a things ya don’t have room to be talkin’, kid. Ya gonna cut me up with those shiny knives over there? Watch me bleed out?”</p><p>The man takes Goro’s silence as confirmation and he laughs.</p><p>“Yer just like me, but raised by a cop. At the end of the day yer nothin’ but a wolf in sheep’s clothin’. Ya gonna become a cop, too, kid?”</p><p>“What’s it to you?” Goro sneers.</p><p>“Just thinkin’ about how long ya’ll last. Killin’ under the ‘guise of working with the law will only save yer hide for so long. Eventually the cops ya work with will start lookin’ too closely at yer private life. Wonder why ya get all giddy at the sight of blood an’ gruesome crime scenes.”</p><p>In truth, Goro hadn’t given all that much thought about what career he’d go into, but the man made some good points.</p><p>Goro throws on a rubber smock around his neck, ties it around his waist and dons a pair of protective gloves.</p><p>“Am I yer first kill? I’m honored, really” The man says, “Ya look like ya prepared pretty well, kid, seem like ya got a good head on yer shoulders,” he continues, “Hey, whaddaya say about joinin’ me? Let me go an’ I’ll teach ya everythin’ I know about killin’ an’ how to get away with it.”</p><p>Goro hums in mock thought, “But you didn’t get away with it, did you? Here you are on this table, about to be sliced up… Not sure I’d want pointers from someone who got caught.”</p><p>“Besides, I may find the act of killing fascinating and exhilarating, but even I have standards. For starters, I’m above killing innocent people, especially <i>children</i>,” Goro spits, hoving the tip of his knife over the man’s throat, “So, with that said, have fun in Hell, asshole” he says before plunging his knife into the man’s throat and slicing it open and nicking an artery in the process.</p><p>“A decapitation for the decapita<i>tor</i>, fitting, don’t you think?” Goro says, lifting the blade of his knife as blood spurts from the man’s neck. He swipes a gloved finger through the blood coating it and a shiver runs up his spine in ecstasy. </p><p>The man can’t reply, though, and the sputtering and gurgling sounds the man makes don’t last long, but Goro relishes in them all the same.</p><p>His first kill is messy and blood gets everywhere. He gets lost in the sensations and adrenaline of <i>finally</i> getting to act on the desires he’s had to suppress for the past 10 years of his life. </p><p>It’s exhilarating.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
Once the man is dead, Goro uses the bone saw to cut up the body and places the parts into black trash bags.</p><p>He tears down the plastic he lined the room with, rolls it up from the floors and tables, and stuffs it into the trash bags as well.</p><p>He removes his smock and other protective garments and places them into a separate plastic bag, which he puts into a duffle of his own along with his knives and other tools to clean later.</p><p>By the time he’s finished the room looks just the same as it had before and he calls Niijima to tell him he’s finished. Niijima helps Goro smuggle the bags of human remains into the trunk of his car before they head to the docks where they move the bags onto their boat.</p><p>They head out about an hour’s distance from shore before coming to a stop where they start dropping the bags to sink to the bottom of the sea.</p><p>Goro is still riding his high from earlier, so to fill the silence he starts talking about how <i>good</i> it felt and all the gorgeous shades of red that spilled from the man’s body, the sounds of his screams before he muffled them and eventually shut him up for good, the feeling of the saw cutting through bone-</p><p>“Goro, that’s enough,” Niijima says sternly and when Goro looked over at his father he was reminded that this wasn’t normal.</p><p>“Sorry,” Goro mumbles, and it’s quiet after that.</p><p>Despite how much satisfaction he felt after his earlier activities, Goro knew it wasn’t normal to feel so much enjoyment while watching life leave another person and it wasn’t normal to enjoy being the cause of it. The green look on his father’s face told him that much, the stern tone of his voice as he told Goro to stop talking.</p><p>His dad didn’t want to hear it.</p><p>Even though he had been the one to suggest Goro kill this man in the first place, he had no interest in hearing the nitty, gritty details of it.</p><p>The rest of the boat ride back to shore is silent, Goro still feels the thrum of energy from his earlier activities burning underneath his skin, but he doesn’t say anything else to Niijima about it, but he holds onto the feeling for as long as he can, not knowing when he’ll get another chance to feel it.</p><p>It goes without saying that he’s not to mention anything to Makoto or Sae. Not that he’s ever mentioned anything to either of them about his urges before, but the sick look on his father’s face reminds him that these are things that ordinary people don’t want to hear about.</p><p>He wonders for the briefest of moments if he’ll ever find someone else he can connect with on the matter.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <h4>17 Years Old</h4>
</div>When Goro is 17, Niijima gets him a job as a Junior Detective on the force. He still has to attend high school, but it gives Niijima the chance to introduce Goro to the inner workings of the justice system so that Goro can both avoid falling to it himself and take advantage of it.<p>Goro rises to fame quickly as a detective prodigy and earns the title of the Detective Prince and though it was never his nor Niijima’s intentions, they work with it. No one would suspect such a public figure to be a serial killer, after all.</p><p>It gives him the cover to look into and snuff out criminals who have managed to bypass the system, while also being a job Goro can make a career out of.</p><p>But, as convenient as being the Detective Prince is for allowing him to kill, it does come with some downsides.</p><p>One of those downsides being the extra effort he has to put into not only the way he acts in public, but his appearance as well. Goro crafts an entire persona for the sole purpose of public presentation. One that he based off of the manner in which popular mainstream idols interact with their own fanbases. The overly sweet smiles, the higher pitched lit to his voice, the occasional “slip ups” that make him seem more relatable and human than he actually is.</p><p>Keeping up the façade becomes just as much of a job as the job of being a detective itself is. While there are instances in which Goro has had to feign emotions before, doing it for an extended period of time becomes taxing. If it were just interacting with officers and detectives alike, then it wouldn’t be so bad, but with the idol-ewque personality he’s curated for the public he often gets asked to do superficial interviews and interact with the fanbase he’s accumulated for equally superficial reasons.</p><p>The other downside of being the Detective Prince is that it exacerbates Makotos’s jealousy and inferiority issues. If Makoto were anyone else and not his sister, he wouldn’t give a shit, but as it stands he does care for her so it does bother him more than he cares to admit.</p><p>Over the past few years since Goro’s first kill, he and Niijima have only gotten closer. Niijima hadn’t been nearly as involved with Goro’s other kills as he was with the first one aside from the occasional suggestion before Goro became a detective himself. Other than that, Niijima stays out of Goro’s affairs, offering support and guidance instead.</p><p>This inevitably led to him spending the majority of his free time outside of work with Goro, which often left Makoto by herself since Sae was often busy with her own job as a prosecutor.</p><p>It’s not like Goro could ever tell Makoto the reason why their father paid him so much attention. It’s entirely likely that if Goro weren’t the way he is, Goro would be just as left in the dust as Makoto.</p><p>But it’s not like Goro could ever let Makoto know any of that.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
It’s the winter before Goro’s 18th birthday when his father is killed.</p><p>It’s suspected that his killer was the lead suspect of a case Niijima had been working on, but there’s no solid leads nor evidence.</p><p>The day of his dad’s funeral is one that Goro won’t ever forget. </p><p>In all of Goro’s 17 years of living he’s never felt loss or sadness on the subject of death, but Niijima’s is different. </p><p>The man took him in when no one else would and helped him control his urges to kill. He helped him learn how to blend in, how to fake emotions that they were both so sure Goro would never feel.</p><p>But on the day of his dad’s funeral, Goro definitely Feels.</p><p>He’s not sure if it’s the same feelings everyone else around him is feeling, no, wait, he’s sure they’re not, but it <i>is</i> the most genuine emotion he’s ever felt and it overwhelms him.</p><p>It overwhelms him so much and clouds his vision until all he can see is red and he knows what he has to do.</p><p>He has to find the person who killed Niijima and take care of the criminal trash himself.</p><p>But he pushes it all aside for now and focuses on being there for Makoto and Sae. He can project the image of the brother who’s trying his best to hold it together to support his two sisters and get his bloodlust out of his system later.</p><p>He focuses on maintaining that image during the rest of the ceremonies while simultaneously going over the details of the case in his head.</p><p>When the funeral ceremonies are over, Goro attempts to leave post-haste, but is stopped by an angry Makoto.</p><p>“What is your deal?” She demands, “All day you’ve been acting as if being here is some kind of chore. Do you even care that dad is dead?” Makoto seethes and Goro narrows his eyes.</p><p>“You think I don’t care?” Goro asks, voice hard in defence, “Excuse me for finding it difficult to process that the man who took me in when I had lost everything is now gone,” Goro says, and the words hold a surprising amount of truth to them that he hadn’t been able to sort through earlier.</p><p>Makoto is silent, but doesn’t lose the hard look in her eyes.</p><p>“Dad spent so much of his free time with you,” Makoto says after a few moments, “He never spent any time with me though, and you don’t seem affected at all.” Makoto pauses, “You’re not even <i>really</i> a Niijima.”</p><p>“Makoto!” Sae suddenly appears next to them. She levels a stare with her and the two of them seem to have a silent conversation as if this is something they had talked about before. </p><p>Maybe it was, for all Goro knew. He knew about Makoto’s resentment issues, it wouldn’t surprise him to find out that she had confided in Sae about it.</p><p>The two of them stare at one another for a few more seconds before Makoto huffs and walks away.</p><p>“Sorry about her,” Sae sighs.</p><p>“We’re all upset and grieving in different ways,” Goro replies, but he finds Makoto’s outburst bothers him more than he’d like to admit.</p><p>“Right,” Sae nods, “She’ll come around, so don’t take anything she says to heart, alright? You’ve always been a part of this family.”</p><p>“Thank you, Sae,” Goro smiles softly.</p><p>Goro heads home after that, Sae stays to talk to relatives and friends, while Makoto is out who knows where. </p><p>Sae comes home not long after Goro gets home, with Makato not coming home until much later. When he hears her come in the front door, though, soon after there’s a quiet knock on his door.</p><p>“Hey Goro,” She speaks softly, but loud enough for him to hear, “You don’t have to to open the door, but I’m… sorry… for what I said earlier. It was a low blow and I apologize,” Makoto pauses, waiting for a response that Goro won’t grant her, “Goodnight, Goro.”</p><p>In truth, Goro isn’t quite upset enough to warrant giving Makoto the cold shoulder, but he allows himself to be a little petty and let her think he is.</p><p>He’ll clear it up tomorrow, anyways.<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
Goro waits a few days before making any immediate decisions or taking action. He looks over the details of the case that his father had been working on multiple times to ensure he has everything straight.</p><p>It’s a personal matter, and while one of Niijima’s rules is “Don’t Make Things Personal”, Goro will not let this go.</p><p>As it happens, while the main suspect of the case Niijima had been working on <i>is</i> likely the culprit in that case, he’s not the one who killed him.</p><p>It’s disappointing to learn, it would have made things more simple, but it only takes a little more digging to find out who the person behind Niijima’s death is.</p><p>When he does find out, he immediately starts planning. A brief stalking and a few nights later Goro ambushes the man in his own house, knocks him out, and ties him to the table.</p><p>He takes his usual precautions, the entire room is wrapped in plastic for easy clean up and to minimize the risk of leaving evidence. He’s got his smock and gloves on, knives laid out on a table beside him.</p><p>When the man comes to, it’s in the groggy confusion that has become typical for Goro to witness. Once the man gains some clarity he looks around until his eyes land on Goro.</p><p>“Oh, what’s this? You’re that cop’s kid, huh?” The man laughs, “Never thought the beloved detective prince would go rogue like this, what would your fans think if they knew, hmm?”</p><p>“You’d be wise not to make any threats given your situation,” Goro says, taking one of his larger knives out of the case and running his fingers along the side of it. The man pales, finally realizing the situation he’s in.</p><p>“Now,” Goro begins, “Why did you kill my father? I’ve looked into you, you have no connection to him and no identifiable reason to want him dead,” Goro presses the blade of his knife to the man’s throat, “So why?”</p><p>“Ah, ah, it wasn’t personal by any means!” The man’s expression becomes frantic at the sensation of the blade shallowly pressed to his throat, “It was just a hit!”</p><p>“A hit? From whom?” Goro narrows his eyes, pressing the blade just a little closer.</p><p>“I can’t- ack,” More pressure, “I’m not allowed to say!”</p><p>“Hmm, interesting. You’re trying so hard to protect someone who likely won’t even miss you once you’re gone. They used you and probably don’t even care that their hit request is the reason you’re going to die tonight.”</p><p>“Shido! His name is Masayoshi Shido!”</p><p>Goro removes the blade completely from the man’s throat and raises the back of his hand to his lips, knife in hand, while keeping his free hand on his hip.</p><p>“Shido… why does that name sound familiar…” Goro mutters to himself, thinking.</p><p>“He’s running for Prime Minister this year,” The man offers up, “That cop wouldn’t bend to his will like the others, so Shido ordered a hit on him.”</p><p>“Thank you, that’s very informative,” Goro smiles his sweet detective prince smile and then drops it into an expression full of contempt.</p><p>“Now die,” Goro slices the blade of his knife along the man’s throat and watches him bleed out.</p><p> </p><p>      </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So!! That’s all for now! I do have more planned, but it likely won't be done for at least another month. In the next part Ren will make his appearance as well as the other PTs! Along with some akeshuake moments, haha, so if you’re interested in seeing more, please let me know, it will help encourage me to finish the rest! Right now it's only a rough outline and not even a complete one at that, haha, so hopefully I will be able to crack down on it because I've really grown to love this idea and I want to unleash this AU's version of Ren onto you all because I think I've got some pretty fun things in mind for him :)</p><p>Anyways, it’s been YEARS since I’ve written anything fully fleshed out like this (so don't judge it too harshly please!), but I had a lot of fun. Definitely the longest thing I've written ever and part two is barely even started. I know gore/blood/etc isn't everyone's cup of tea, so if you did read through this thank you very much!! I hope you enjoyed it!</p><p>By the way!! The code/set of rules that Niijima teaches Goro to follow here are 100% grabbed from Dexter. I did not come up with those myself, just expanded upon them to relate them to Goro.</p><p>My twitter is <a href="https://twitter.com/Crafty__Scrafty">@crafty__scrafty</a>, come say hi if you want! It's a mix of fandom and personal, but I've been trying to keep the personal down to a minimum lately, I promise ^^;</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>